Can lucid dreaming help people who are dying? Or those who have been bereaved?
What can lucid dreaming teach us about death?
The connection between lucid dreaming and death is nothing new: over a thousand years ago, Tibetan Buddhists developed an entire science around how to wake up in dreams to prepare for death, believing that if lucid dreaming was developed enough, people could remain conscious at the moment of death and maintain awareness right through the transitional processes beyond death and into the next life.
But what about people who are dying? Is it too late for them to benefit from lucid dreaming?
When we (or our body) know we are going to die soon, dreams reflect this knowledge and all the fears and assumptions that go along with it. When people are approaching death they tend to report dreams which seem to be preparing them to die. These dreams are often culture-specific and religion-specific: a Christian might dream of angels, for example, but more general dreams are also reported, such as those of being bodiless or floating in white light. Other dreams are not so reassuring – nightmares or hellish visions can reflect a fear of death or the desperation to stay with loved ones.
These lucid dreams teach me how to die.
– Aiha Zemp to her Zen meditation teacher.
Lucid dreamers can employ the dream state to discover more about dying, by exploring fears and taboos about death, asking the dream what will happen when they die, learning to say goodbye and release past grievances, and seeking to discover how to comfort the people they’ll leave behind.
Practising lucid dreaming before we die could help to make the dying experience better as we work to release our fear of death and prepare to leave our life, family and friends behind.
Lucid Dreaming in the Dying Process
- Lucid dreaming gives us clarity about our emotions and fears. When facing death, we can transform emotions and resolve deep-seated fears by working with dream imagery while lucid. The same works for those whose loved one is dying or dead.
- What I’ve termed ‘Bodiless Lucid Experiences’ (BLE) take place in deep lucid dreaming. These experiences can help people to feel more serene about what death may hold. For many, floating lucidly in dream space tends to result in the feeling that consciousness can exist independently of the physical body, and a more positive outlook on death.
- Lucid dreaming can act as a kind of inner therapy, and unresolved life issues can be worked through by engaging consciously with dream figures, asking the dream questions, and enabling healing and transformation within the dream state. This could help the dying to release some of their ‘baggage’ and reconcile themselves with their life choices, so allowing them to die in peace.
Lucid Dreaming and Bereavement
Lucid dreaming can offer a way for the bereaved person to seek reconciliation and solace with deceased loved ones.
But is it always a good idea to seek this contact?
Grief is a very complex state. It usually goes beyond simply missing a loved one and wishing they were still alive. Grief can be all mixed up with guilt, shame and anger, particularly after a suicide or a fatal accident. If such negative emotions seem uncontrollably high, it is a wise idea to seek the help of a bereavement counsellor to calm and integrate these emotions. Coming face to face with them in a dream, lucid or otherwise, can be a shocking experience. Of course, nonlucid and lucid dreams occur spontaneously, so we may not have any choice but to face our violent emotions in the dream state, and for this reason it’s good to learn how to respond to nightmares – see also my articles on this website on trauma and reacting to dream figures.
When grief is ‘simple’ in the sense of pure love and loss, dreaming of a deceased loved one can be remarkably healing. Simply holding that person in your arms again and looking into their eyes, being enveloped in their scent and talking with them in a dream can feel so utterly real. This brings deep solace to many people who feel that they can accept the death more easily having had the chance to say goodbye in a (lucid) dream.
To guide people gently into beautiful states of consciousness within which they can open up the lines of communication with beloved people and animals who have died, I’ve created a new course. “Reunite With Lost Loved Ones” has a special launch discount of 20% off when you enter the code word BELOVED at checkout.
Near Death Experiences (NDE)
There seems to be an experiential link between lucid dreaming and the experiences people report when they have been pronounced clinically dead. Dr Penny Sartori’s research into near death experiences involved the study of people who had died of cardiac arrest, so they had no brain function or heartbeat. A proportion of these people who were resuscitated reported incredibly detailed experiences of floating through tunnels, being greeted by deceased loved ones, and in some cases either being told to ‘go back’ or deciding for themselves that they were not yet ready to die.
Although the vast majority of NDEs seem highly positive, leaving people with a deep certainty that life continues after death, a few people have reported near death experiences involving negative scenarios: images of Hell, for example.
My question is: if these people had practised lucid dreaming beforehand, might they have been able to transform their negative NDE into something more positive? How similar are NDEs and lucid dreams? Clearly they do not occur in the same physiological state, but Bodiless Lucid Experiences involve the sense of self dissolving, and regular lucid dreams can involve similar scenarios to those experienced in NDEs.
I was so curious that I met up with Dr Sartori. We talked about NDEs and lucid dreaming, sharing our thoughts and experiences. We did this on camera and I’ll put up the video when it’s ready.
There’s still such a lot to learn about these deep states, and lucid dreaming could be a key to discovering more.
my husband has COPD and Palliative Care has been requested to come in. He has been having dreams, not necessarily of dying but dreams he describes are kind of crazy, sometimes of living family members. Is this a normal part of pre death and how does a family member know if the person is aware that they probably are going to die in the near future.
Hi Helen,
I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s illness.
Yes, it is absolutely normal to have “kind of crazy” dreams when death seems close. This is a very important time and you can help your husband by listening to his dreams, as you are doing.
I can recommend an excellent book, the authors, Monique Seguin and Nicole Gratton, are French Canadian and I know Monique worked for many years in a palliative care centre. Their book is now available in English on Kindle, here is the link.
I wish you and your husband and family strength in this difficult time. Sharing dreams can be a deep bonding experience and I hope that Monique’s book helps you to see a greater picture of the kinds of dreams that come towards the end of life.
In my book, Dream Therapy, there are many different techniques for working with dreams for resolution, and there is also a chapter on dreams of the dying. But go for Monique and Nicole’s first, as this is the sole topic of their wonderful book.
Warmest wishes,
Clare
I had a dream I was in a burial chamber there was already a coffin there an my friend was helping me while I was preparing to die I was a-scared but wanted to know what the body was like in the coffin that was there, when I opened it, it looked like the person was so scared as they had there hands over there face an all that remained was the shape of a skeleton. We collected some sort of poison leaves of the plant to take to help me. I don’t understand why I was dreaming of doing this ? But I started crying thinking that I was to scared to die like this incase I woke up in the coffin an so I found myself in my mothers house who was telling me to enjoy life an stop worrying about the way I was wanting to die even tho I felt I had to do it in this way. An then woke up an felt so tearful
Thanks for sharing this, Paula, it sounds as if your dream had good advice for you, given by the mother character in the dream.
Death is a transition but it’s not the end of everything. If you want to learn to release fear around death, lucid dreaming can help. There is a lot on this in Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Lucid Dreaming.
If you’re interested, Dr. Penny Sartori has written amazing books on near-death experiences, these accounts really help people who feel fearful about what happens when we die.
Wishing you courage and joy,
Clare
I have had dreams of dying. I believe in heaven, but I seem to be stuck, aware of everything and everyone around me. I guess my fear is being trapped in limbo. Any thoughts?
I have been lucid dreaming for 25 years now and have experienced many long and vivid lucid dreams that rival reality. At first, these dreams came with a feeling of euphoria that often lasted a day or so after waking, but today I am used to it and rarely get that feeling. When I read of NDEs I can’t help but think that when dying, there is a mechanism in our brain that creates a kind of lucid dream to ease our body and mind into death. When the dream is over though, there is a void instead of waking. My fear is what if when I die I recognize this process as it occurs, knowing that there is nothing after? I sure hope that I am wrong and that the two are completely separate things. My spiritual side leans towards the two not being the same. It would be interesting though, to train someone who had an NDE to have lucid dreams so that the two can be compared.
Hi Eric,
if you read up on NDEs you will likely find comfort and the courage to trust. I can recommend the books of Dr. Penny Sartori, who I know personally. She was a nurse for decades and is very down to earth. She made NDEs her doctoral study after speaking to patients who were brought back from clinical death by doctors.
As an experienced lucid dreamer you could ask about what happens when we die, the next time you get lucid, if you feel ready to know.
Sorry it took me a while to see your comment and respond. I wish you well in your further explorations.
Lucid wishes,
Clare
Dream
I have a debilitating disease for which I have no diagnosis…anyways I have been dreaming about dying a lot lately…this is the dream I had last night, any insight would be appreciated.
I had this weird dream… Something was going on prior to this but I don’t remember what it was but all of a sudden I was like “it’s time” and I started flying up and I was saying “this is it, I’m going to Heaven!! It’s finally here, I’m going home to the Lord” And I started going numb and I felt such a warmth peace as I flying up and it was like this blue and white tunnel and at the end of it was this bright white light…I thought to myself “people were right, it is a bright white light and it’s so beautiful” and I started to cry tears of joy but then something hit me and I was like “but I’m not ready to die just yet Lord!!!” and then I kinda shook(which is something I’ve done since I was a kid if I was having a dream I didn’t like) and I woke myself up.
That’s a beautiful dream, Cara, and mirrors reports of near-death experiences. I’ve experienced this Lucid Light many times, it is actually always present (and definitely not only related to the death state). We can experience it in dreams, lucid dreams, OBEs, and in the waking state. I wish you vibrant health!